I hope every parent not only reads this, but takes the time to think about it and chooses their actions with real intention.
from INC. THIS MORNING, --Bill Murphy Jr., Contributing Editor, Inc.com
How to ensure your kids won't succeed
The college admissions scandal that broke yesterday is likely a game-changer -- the sort of high-profile alleged criminal conspiracy that will, I predict, lead to major changes in American college admissions.
It also provides an almost-too-easy example of the worst of helicopter parenting. When you break down what the 33 parents among the defendants -- Hollywood actors like Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin, successful entrepreneurs, and other wealthy parents -- are charged with doing, it comes down to five things:
They bought into someone else's definition of success.
They had little faith in their children.
They swooped in with money to "fix" the problem.
They crossed every line of honesty and morality.
They tried to hide the whole thing from their kids.
Can you imagine being the sons and daughters here? Set aside the fact that your parents now risk going to prison. How do you wrap your head around the idea that everything you thought you'd accomplished in life now comes with an asterisk (at the very least)?
Granted, the alleged ringleader and the coaches and college officials who allegedly took bribes are charged with more serious crimes. But there's no excuse for the parents.
As a parent, of course, you want to do everything you can for your kids. When my daughter was a baby, I used to joke that my main goal was now to smooth out all of life's rough edges so she'd never feel any pain or disappointment.
But that's not only impossible; it wouldn't even be good for her.
If you're reading this, you've probably had some success in life. But I'd also bet you can point to some setbacks and trauma -- some rough edges -- that ultimately made you stronger.
You might not want to relive those experiences, but would you give them up?
That's what these parents tried to do for their kids. Ironically, they'll all now face a much harder challenge than, say, getting turned down by Yale or USC ever would have been.