It's the 5th day of the New Year. Have you completed your list of resolutions? No? That's ok. I haven't' either. Who says that just because it's a new year, we have to make resolutions and set goals and make a plan? I’ve always wanted to meet the infamous "they" that so easily issues orders and expectations from afar.
Me? I live life in the trenches and from here, the new year dawned just like any other winter day. I'm no more sure now of who I am, what I want, where I'm going and how I should get there than I was yesterday. Oh, I believe there's magic in those champagne bubbles, but not the kind that gave me insight into all the challenges that I face overnight.
Like you, I have more questions than answers. I have doubts and often feel fearful. What I've learned over the past 61 years, is that that's ok. That's part of what makes me human. What I've also learned is that I can't allow my insecurities to prevent me from living each and every moment to its fullest. I may not know exactly where this all is leading, but I do know where I am right now. I choose to be in this moment and embrace it as fully as I possibly can in spite of the questions that swirl incessantly around it.
In learning to embrace each moment fully, I've also begun to practice really listening. I stay silent and listen to the white noise of sounds and voices that fill the moment. Some make sense and I can resonate with their wisdom. Some, I'm not ready to hear and must wait for another moment. That's ok. Sometimes, if I'm really quiet, I can begin to hear the soft murmurs of my soul, the essence of who I am. That is where the real nuggets of wisdom lie. That is where I find all I need.
So here's what I suggest on this the 5th day of January. Rather than worrying about lists and plans and goals, take some time in the depths of this Chicago winter to be silent and listen to that small voice deep inside you that is struggling to be heard amid all the outside noises. Hear what you are trying to say to yourself.
After all, we can make our lists in February.